Many couples therapies include a focus on communication issues, however one of the hallmarks of excellent relationship therapy is that there will be a strong emphasis on how husbands and wives can meet each others emotional needs and avoid behaviors that destroy their desired romance.
Do you often wonder what happened to the person that you first met? Has your relationship changed and become something less than what you dreamed of? We can help you discover your ideal relationship again and show you how your conflict is actually an indication of growth.
Steve and Mary worked closely on the Roger's Project for almost five months--quick lunches and early morning coffee and danish rendezvous began to stir feelings in Steve that he had not felt with Angie for years. Angie worked full time and took care of their two preteen boys, who kept her busy at baseball games and soccer. Mary was attractive, athletic, and paid close attention to Steve's every move. When their hands touched one evening while working late, there was electricity! That evening began the most exciting, fearful, complex, and damaging relationship he had ever been or ever would be involved in. A relationship that would end in a train wreck months later--one that would change his life forever.
Affairs can be emotionally disastrous not only to those individuals immediately involved, but entire families. If that betrayal has been a part of your marriage, I know you understand. It changes everything. The pain one feels at the other end of an affair is not easily described. It has been said, "My heart is broken--my life is shattered," "My trust is gone; our specialness has been destroyed forever," “What did I do that caused my partner to want someone else?” "What is wrong with me?" There is no justification for having an affair--ever. All marriages have problems. In an affair, one of the partners has chosen to find solace and emotional or physical satisfaction in another person outside the marriage. It’s very intoxicating to find someone new and secretive that you can talk with--someone who seems to listen and is always available to you; however, it is all fantasy. An affair is a catastrophic exit to the marriage and in many cases leads to separation or divorce, family devastation, and years of emotional suffering.
Months later, Angie discovered Steve's affair with Mary. She was shattered and confused. She sank deep into despair and depression. Steve was experiencing severe guilt and wished he knew a way he could erase the past several months. Steve abruptly ended his relationship with Mary and made the decision with Angie to seek professional help in order to restore their marriage. The process was extremely painful for both as the raw truths were slowly revealed. Choosing the right marriage counselor was a vital part of the healing they realized a couple of years later.
In fact, the ultimate crisis of an affair can be a catalyst for couples to create a new marriage--one that is conscious, one that feels safe, and one where trust can be rebuilt.
It can never be the same as it was. There is an injury, but like all injuries, if properly cared for, can heal and become even stronger than before. We have seen this to be true time and time again. We have learned from the couples we have worked with that if both husband and wife want to recreate the bond they once had, it can be done. Learning to communicate complete honesty is the main key.
In session, you will learn to listen, feel safe enough to share your deepest feelings, and understand the importance of being patient in your healing process--there is hope.
Steve and Angie lay back on the blanket and stared up into the dim evening sky. The beach had become their favorite getaway. Early that morning they had enjoyed a brisk run on the beach, swam half the day in the warm ocean, and now, lay in each others arms watching the sun drop below the horizon. Their laughter was back; their trust was slowly returning; and best of all, together they had overcome the ultimate crisis any marriage can ever experience--the affair.
We are proficient in helping couples who are experiencing this painful crisis in their marriage. More importantly, we help couples avoid affairs by educating them in how they can meet their spouse's deepest emotional needs. Call us today if you are in an affair, if an affair has destroyed your family, or if you are even considering an affair.