Steve and Mary worked closely on the Roger's Project for almost five months--quick lunches and early morning coffee and danish rendezvous began to stir feelings in Steve that he had not felt with Angie for years. Angie worked full-time and took care of their two preteen boys, who kept her busy at baseball games and soccer. Mary was attractive, athletic, and paid close attention to Steve's every move. When their hands touched one evening while working late, there was electricity! That evening began the most exciting, fearful, complex, and damaging relationship he had ever been or ever would be involved in. A relationship that would end in a train wreck months later--one that would change his life forever.
Affairs can be emotionally disastrous not only to those individuals immediately involved, but to entire families. If that betrayal has been a part of your marriage, I know you understand. It changes everything. The pain one feels at the other end of an affair is not easily described. It has been said, "My heart is broken--my life is shattered," and "My trust is gone; our specialness has been destroyed forever," “What did I do that caused my partner to want someone else?” "What is wrong with me?" There is no justification for having an affair--ever. All marriages have problems. In an affair, one of the partners has chosen to find solace and emotional or physical satisfaction in another person outside the marriage. It’s very intoxicating to find someone new and secretive that you can talk with--someone who seems to listen and is always available to you; however, it is all fantasy. An affair is a catastrophic exit to the marriage and in many cases leads to separation or divorce, family devastation, and years of emotional suffering.
Months later, Angie discovered Steve's affair with Mary. She was shattered and confused. She sank deep into despair and depression. Steve was experiencing severe guilt and wished he knew a way he could erase the past several months. Steve abruptly ended his relationship with Mary and made the decision with Angie to seek professional help in order to restore their marriage. The process was extremely painful for both as the raw truths were slowly revealed. Choosing the right marriage counselor was a vital part of the healing they realized a couple of years later.
